Why do victims of domestic violence suffer and not leave?
In cases of domestic violence, the best option is for the victim to leave the common residence they share with the abuser and stop all contact with him. Unfortunately, however, such an opportunity is not always available.
In many cases, abusers will go to extremes to prevent their victim from leaving. Also, this crucial step often leads to uncontrollable aggression on the part of the abuser, which can end fatally for the victim.
The reasons why a victim of violence chooses to continue to endure the harassment inflicted on her can be extremely complex and complex.
Often they are also based on the threats the abuser uses to keep her trapped in the home: that he will hurt/kill the victim; that it will hurt/kill the children; that he will take custody of the children; that it will ruin the victim financially and more. etc. It is also possible that the victim does not have an objective opportunity to escape to a safe place and/or protect her children.
We will list some serious barriers of a personal nature: • Fear that the abuser will kill the victim and/or the children;
• Unsupportive relatives and friends;
• Fear of financial shortfall when raising a child independently;
• The feeling that it is normal for the relationship to be a mixture of leisurely time, love, hope and manipulation, intimidation and fear;
• The victim's lack of awareness of their own rights, as well as lack of contact with safety and support centers;
• Fear of losing custody of the children if the victim leaves or divorces her abuser, as well as fear that the abuser will harm the children in some way;
• Lack of means of financial support or lack of access to cash, bank accounts or assets;
• Lack of a place for the victim to go (for example, to parents or friends);
• Belief that separation between parents can have a traumatic effect on children;
• Trying to rationalize the problem – that the abuser's behavior is due to a drinking problem, work problems or other factors.
• Fear caused by the abuser with promises that he will harm his health and life if the victim leaves him
• Feeling of financial instability and fear that the victim will not be able to get back on his feet and find a job, since the abuser with whom he lived is an influential person;
• Fear of loneliness and shame that the victim will always remain alone and no one will accept her with such a past and with children from another man;
• Shame in front of oneself, relatives and friends, that the victim was not able to build a normal family and keep the man by her side;
• A feeling of helplessness and a sense of hopelessness, because in the case of violence, the victim may experience such strong emotional stress that he does not see an option for a way out of the situation;
• Unsupportive relatives and friends;
• Fear of financial shortfall when raising a child independently;
• The feeling that it is normal for the relationship to be a mixture of leisurely time, love, hope and manipulation, intimidation and fear;
• The victim's lack of awareness of their own rights, as well as lack of contact with safety and support centers;
• Fear of losing custody of the children if the victim leaves or divorces her abuser, as well as fear that the abuser will harm the children in some way;
• Lack of means of financial support or lack of access to cash, bank accounts or assets;
• Lack of a place for the victim to go (for example, to parents or friends);
• Belief that separation between parents can have a traumatic effect on children;
• Trying to rationalize the problem – that the abuser's behavior is due to a drinking problem, work problems or other factors.
• Fear caused by the abuser with promises that he will harm his health and life if the victim leaves him
• Feeling of financial instability and fear that the victim will not be able to get back on his feet and find a job, since the abuser with whom he lived is an influential person;
• Fear of loneliness and shame that the victim will always remain alone and no one will accept her with such a past and with children from another man;
• Shame in front of oneself, relatives and friends, that the victim was not able to build a normal family and keep the man by her side;
• A feeling of helplessness and a sense of hopelessness, because in the case of violence, the victim may experience such strong emotional stress that he does not see an option for a way out of the situation;
In addition to those listed, there are also barriers of a social nature: • Lack of cooperation from the law enforcement authorities or downplaying the problem;
• Prolonging cases in court, which can last for years;
• Lack of a crisis center to combat violence in the relevant settlement;
• The question "What will people say to each other" etc.
• Lack of financial means to seek help from a lawyer to protect his and his children's rights
• Lack of tolerance, understanding and publicizing the problem on the part of society and institutions, which turns the topic of domestic violence into a taboo;
• Prolonging cases in court, which can last for years;
• Lack of a crisis center to combat violence in the relevant settlement;
• The question "What will people say to each other" etc.
• Lack of financial means to seek help from a lawyer to protect his and his children's rights
• Lack of tolerance, understanding and publicizing the problem on the part of society and institutions, which turns the topic of domestic violence into a taboo;
If you suffer from domestic violence or a loved one is subject to such, it is good to inform yourself carefully about what measures could be taken in the specific situation. Each case is specific and requires an individual approach to resolution.